Love and Loss

Today is my mother, Jean DeChesere’s birthday. If she were alive, she would be 100. She died early in 2010 just short of turning 96. My brother called her an Earth angel and he is correct. It is not an exaggeration. Everyone who loved her called her Honey, the name stolen from that Southern endearment she used so often herself when addressing others. My brother and I were lucky to have her for so many years to love us, to nurture us, and to teach us. And teach she did. Both my brother and I have a love for the environment, for our families, for animals, for learning, for thinking, and for growing both spiritually and intellectually. I believe we owe our mutual propensity for hard work, drive, and determination to our mom. She taught us to respect and honor tolerance. Since her death, not one day has passed by that I have not thought about her. She crawls around in my mind, sits on my shoulder, and caresses my heart, so although she has passed away, I am never without her.

The past year has been a difficult one for me. I lost my oldest son who was 39 and my dad who was four days short of 103. Not one day goes by that I do not think about them as well. Grief hangs on like a loose cape, flittering away at times, but always there, connected by strings to the heart. My purpose here is not to write about sadness, however, but to write about love. I love my family, past and present. At times it has not always been easy, but it has been an underlying, undeniable truth, plain and simple. Disagreements and hurts have jabbed us a few times, but we are resilient. No matter what, we have been able to get back to what is important: love. It’s the bottom line.

So, yes, I love my family. The photo below is one that my brother and I found when we were preparing a Power Point for our dad’s Celebration of Life. It is of our parents taken in 1952. I enjoy looking at it because it captures a moment in time when they were embarking on an evening looking elegant, dapper, and happy. I also like to think they were very much in love.