Stuck In The Middle

Being blindsided by a situation that causes me to be stuck in the middle doesn’t feel good, and I’m wondering why. Does it mean I am weak and can’t stand up to someone who feels differently than I do? Does it mean I am diplomatic and simply don’t want to ruffle feathers more than perhaps they already are ruffled? Does it mean I am a peacemaker, a wimp, a patsy, or an appeaser? Maybe it comes down to perception on my part and perhaps it says more about the person who placed me here than it does about me. I have been here before and I don’t like it. I’m not angry, but I am saddened. My emotions have become tangled together in a tight knot. I want to cry. I’ve cried enough over the past few years to fill an ocean, though, for a reason much more significant than this, so shedding a tear is out of the question.

Sometimes I believe one can be struck unexpectedly by an incident that although unlike past events is closely enough aligned to pull up the past as though it never went away in the first place. The specific memory may not be as important as the emotion that is flamed by it. And that’s where I am now . . . feeling a bit disheartened and sad. I’ll sit with it, acknowledge it, hold it, and then let it go. I want to move on with my day creating positive ripples along the way.