How Did I Get Here?

Perhaps all of us should think about it . . .

I am here at 6:30 a.m. writing as I often do about whatever comes to mind. Often a word or two, a quotation, a post, or simply a lingering statement inspires me. This morning I read this: Today I give thanks to everyone who has been a part of my life’s journey. That is a pretty powerful and altruistic assertion actually and it made me think, and of course, write.

Thinking back, I suppose I would thank my parents first for allowing me to happen in the first place. Whether I was planned or not, I have no idea, but I like to think my birth was a happy occasion. Parents influence us a great deal and mine were no exception. My mother was goodness itself: loving, selfless, kind, and understanding. My father, on the other hand, was far less tolerant, much too angry, judgmental, away too often, and yet painfully sentimental. I loved them both. I have one brother. He and I sparred and argued as many siblings do, but we adored each other nonetheless. I had only one grandparent in my life: Addie. She taught me the importance of laughter, forgiveness, and, along with my mother, to see the beauty in this world. Both of these women taught me to look at my environment closely. In regard to personal relationships, however, their advice flew right out the window. 

Because of the relationship with the father of my two sons I learned that I don’t have to settle for less and that intellect is important. A second man encouraged me to continue my education, thus the master’s degree and credentials. From him I also learned that not everyone should be trusted, to rely on my gut instincts, and to find my voice. That was invaluable. My husband today has helped me understand the complexities of life, that friendship can lead to love, and that giving in many forms is its own reward.

My sons have taught me the power of unconditional love, how to maneuver through our world more cautiously, that our control in the face of life’s hurdles and sorrows is limited, and that despite consummate loss and grief, we must move forward. I thank my sons for being incredible individuals.

I appreciate my students who have taught me much more than I ever taught them, I feel sure. From them I learned patience, tolerance, acceptance, gratitude, understanding, and love.

Finally, I thank my friends, my true friends, who have not let me down and who have seen me through the darkest hours of my life.

I am here now -- a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a friend, a teacher, an author, a writer, and more. I am not young, but not old yet either. Life truly is a journey. Mine has had more twists and turns than I had anticipated but it has brought me to where I am today and with that, I am satisfied.