Counting to Ten

How often does a person actually count to ten? And why? When I was a young girl my mother always told me to count to ten before anger took hold and turned me into a wild child. It was good advice, actually, although it didn’t always work. Aside from throwing a deck of cards at my bother in a contentious Canasta game, though, I kept most of the anger I felt private. It was safer that way. I had watched my father’s temper boil over time and again. It wasn’t pretty. So, I counted to ten.

I can recall when I was teaching that patience (that counting thing) was imperative. Though I found most students to be a joy, a few were incorrigible . . . and those were the ones who would stay with me at day’s end. There simply weren’t enough numbers. Those days are behind me now, but I remember.

Recently I’ve found myself counting to ten for a different reason. It’s not about anger as much as it is about frustration, that kind of annoyance that bubbles up when someone utters or posts an insensitive comment to me or someone else on the street or Online. Why didn’t that person count first? A thoughtless or hurtful statement, a ridiculous remark by a politician, or an observation by a commentator assuming to have the answer, has me wondering what, indeed, is up. What has happened to thinking before speaking or posting or texting?

Fortunately, I’m at a place in life where I can choose, in a whole new way, when and why to count to ten or maybe even twenty: when I walk up the steep hill to my house after walking three miles with my pups . . . step by step by step; when brushing the coat of my beautiful German shepherd, stroke by stroke; when counting out vitamins or planting seeds, one by one; when watching the koi circling the pond, one tailing the other; when tallying the words in my novel at chapter’s end; when listening for the sound of his car and knowing he’s home safe; when watching the sun slip beyond the horizon in a blaze of color; or when simply watching the clock tick its seconds taking time away forever.

Counting to ten is a perception issue I suppose. It is about pausing though, and taking stock, resting a bit, or finding that filter. It need not take long but it is important, I believe, in considering what really counts . . . and why.